Why is money so emotional? How to identify spending patterns as a business owner

If your relationship with money had a theme song, what would it be?

In this episode, Denzil reflects on her conversation with financial therapist Aseel El-Baba, who helps health and wellness pactitioners explore the emotional patterns behind their money habits, like avoidance, over-spending, and everything in between.

Denzil shares:

• Why we sometimes confuse spending with investing, like upgrading our clinic space or buying tools we don’t really need
• How avoiding money conversations (with clients, co-owners, or ourselves) can actually increase anxiety
• The emotional weight that comes with dipping into savings, even when it makes perfect sense
• A simple decision-making filter to bring more intention (and less stress) to bother personal and practice-related money choices
  
  
  

It’s a thoughtful listen for any practitioner or clinic owner who wants to feel more in control (and less alone) in their relationship with money.

Have a theme song in mind? We’d love to hear it! Send us a note at frontdesk@jane.app.

And if you’re looking for even more reflections from Denzil, go ahead and subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Money Relationship Through Song Titles
• 0:35 Financial Therapy and Money Stories
• 1:25 Pattern One: Spending vs Investing
• 2:18 Pattern Two: Avoiding Money Conversations
• 3:12 Pattern Three: Emotional Financial Decisions
• 4:14 Breaking Patterns With Decision Trees

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

If you had to describe your relationship with money in a song title, what would you choose? Mine would be Casual by Chapel Rome. I think me and money have a pretty casual relationship. I care about it, sure, but I'm way more interested in my people. But I've also met people who would say their song is Mo' Money, mo' Problems, or I Need a dollar, or maybe even rich girl. That fun and deceptively deep question came from my conversation with a financial therapist named Asil El Baba on a recent episode of Radio Front Desk. It's actually one of the ways she helps people crack open their relationship with money and, yes, we all have one.

Speaker 1: 0:43

Basile shared a story with me about an executive. He was brilliant with numbers, leading a multi-million dollar company, but behind the scenes his personal finances were unraveling. When she dug into his childhood, she uncovered some trauma that was causing him to overcorrect and overspend again and again. And that's the thing about money stories. They're usually pattern-based and they're rarely just about money, but I think the more you understand, the better equipped you are. So I wanted to share a few patterns when it comes to money that I picked up from my chat with Aseel and from my own experience.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Pattern number one, mistaking spending for investing. You've probably seen this marketing move before. It's not just a beauty product, it's an investment in your future. Maybe you've even fallen for it once or twice. Hey, there's no shame in that. Sometimes just spending is totally fine. But it can slip into an unhealthy pattern when we start rationalizing every purchase as an investment. I knew someone who used to constantly upgrade his clinic setup New tech, new equipment, new furniture every six months. He saw it as an investment in productivity. But in reality it was meeting an emotional need, that sense of control and staying ahead. So here's the question to ask before you spend, is there actually a return on this? Pattern? Number two avoiding the conversation altogether. This one hits home.

Speaker 1: 2:24

Aseel said a lot of her clients show up too nervous to even talk about money. And I get it. I've been there. I'll be honest. There are times when I catch myself avoiding money stuff altogether. I'll convince myself I'm too busy to look at the numbers or that I'll just deal with it next week. But I've learned that every time I finally sit down, open the spreadsheet and actually do the money thing, it's never as bad as I feared. The anxiety shrinks. The problem is rarely as big or complicated as it felt in my head and maybe more importantly, I walk away proud. That small act of just facing the thing I was avoiding shifts everything.

Speaker 1: 3:08

Pattern number three letting emotions drive decisions. It's actually really hard to take emotions out of money decisions, especially when you're running a clinic and your choices impact your business. Aseel shared a story about a client who was facing a year-long income gap. Every month she had to dip into her savings to cover a predictable shortfall and, even though the math made perfect sense, every withdrawal made her feel like she was failing. And how relatable is that? You feel like if you need to touch your savings, you've done something wrong. But Aseel's position on this is that this is to touch your savings. You've done something wrong. But a CEO's position on this is that this is exactly what your savings are for, not just for those last resort emergencies, but for support. Too often, emotional resistance kicks in, not because we're making the wrong financial move, but because we haven't reframed the story we're telling ourselves about it. It's important to remember that these are all patterns, and the good news is that patterns can be broken.

Speaker 1: 4:14

One thing a SEAL recommends to help is to filter your financial decisions through a series of questions, a decision tree. Before making a financial decision, big or small, ask yourself a few things. Is this aligned with my values? If yes, which one? Is it within my budget? What emotion is driving this? Is there a real need here, and can I meet that need without spending money? I started asking myself these questions too and honestly, it slowed me down in the best way. I think of it as financial mindfulness. So now I'll ask you what's your financial song title? Feel free to send me an email at frontdesk at janeapp with some ideas. That's all for me this week. Thanks again for listening. You got this.